18 SEER for only $25.00
How to get an 18 SEER Super High Efficiency AC System for only 25.00 per month – a unique deal!
Dear friend, we realize this may be too good to be true, but you can trust us – we hardly ever never lie as far as you know! Right now is the best time to buy a brand spanking new super high fidelity ac system because the instant rebates, energy savings, and trade in allowances add up to almost $7,000.00. But hurry – you must act now because this special offer will not be available again for at least 3 months.
Why would anyone ever offer this? Are we crazy or just plain nuts?
It's very simple. Our barns are choc full of brand new (sometimes in the box) AC units that accidentally fell off delivery trucks and got slightly damaged. One little scratch can mean huge savings for you! We need to move these quickly. We have negotiated with the "suppliers" and jawboned the lowest price imaginable.
In fact – these prices are so low we're practically paying you to take these systems off our hands.
Between instant manufacturer's rebates, government stimulus funds, unique incentives, trades ins, and a little barter thrown in for good measure you could save big – but we don't want to bother you with a bunch of paperwork – just take our word for it – Buddy will never steer you wrong.
First come, first serve basis! Don't miss out on all of this extra inventory.
This is how it works:
If you own your own home, rent, or if you are just crashing on a friends couch – give our total comfort advisor a call and we'll rush right on over. We will perform a throughout inspection of your home, and after confirming that there is no alarm or dogs on the premises we will then ask you some questions including where do you hide your jewelry and when are you going on vacation next.
Then we check out the AC system you want to replace. If your AC system is 10 years or older and the color of your house is dark brown, you may qualify for our special 55% Buddy discount. If your house is any other color than dark brown you get a 54% discount. We then take the number of bedrooms and add that to the number of bathrooms divided by how many ceiling fans you have.
We take the total square footage of your home and multiply this number by 345. We take that number and divide it by the cost of a gallon of propane then add 10% to that amount. If you are over 65 we add 134 to the last number we came up with, but if you are under 50 we subtract 103. Taking the gross national product of Greece and gauging the general wind direction and speed on an average Tuesday in Bradenton we can then calculate with precision the estimated ACRC which stands for Air Conditioning Replacement Cost.
We then take the ACRC total and pretend to scribble a few lines on a beer soaked note pad. At this time we ask you for a deposit of $2,500.00. We also collect a $250.00 quote fee, and a $50.00 paperwork processing fee. You will most likely get 100% of this money refunded to you after a satisfactory AC system installation.
However if we are not satisfied with how your home accommodates our system we may decide to keep part or all of the deposit and filing fees. We will give you full blue book value as a trade in for your old system, but we must charge a removal and disposal fee that will cost roughly twice what the trade in is worth.
We cannot emphasis how urgent this matter is – Oce in a lifetime deal!!! The reaction has been overwhelming.
If you call before midnight tonight we will promise not to visit your home for the next 5 years – that's right – not a single repair bill from us for 5 years. This is like trying to buy a ticket to a tractor pull on the last day – limited seats are available! Don't Miss out.
Wake the dog and call the neighbors! If you have thought about replacing your system call us – if you haven't thought about it –still call us. If you don't call us we'll call you, usually right in the middle of supper or very late at night.
It's easy - pick up the phone and call today! Operators are standing by!